ligeti’s lux aeterna is beautiful. when performed by a choir like kammerchor stuttgart, it is ethereal beyond words. eternal light. it makes you think.

have finished an exhausting two-day interpreting assignment, spent mostly interpreting make-up tips from a japanese make-up artiste. i have a splendid idea of how to color the face now, and my feet… my feet!… have died and gone to heaven (or so we hope). amen. i have never had to stand for nine hours straight in high, pointy shoes before. it is a once in a lifetime experience (once again, so i hope).

i made it through the first major stage of the scholarship selection. japan looks a lot nearer now. still, i dread having to break the news to the Ps. i don’t even know how to broach the subject, but tell them i must. some part of me is terrified of triggering another heart-attack… but still… tell them i must.

my room still smells of lilies. it is amazing how long these things last. i am lulled to sleep every night by this smell that comes floating on the gentle night breezes. on nights like these, i feel like the island girl that i was born and bred to be, and i feel blessed and grateful.

there is work to be done yet.

the cloying smell of lilies. the sad, pleading tones of stabat mater. the comforting breeze that speaks of impending rain. my senses reel as they attempt to assimilate all these to make a coherent whole, but what is the point? this is our world now – the postmodern confusion that finds harmony in dischord.

i am relieved that the concert is safely over and the choir happily in the next leg of its asian tour. i am beyond relieved that the monster job has been cancelled and i can look forward to a little lull and peace, sing, read a little, and of course, the everlasting item on my to-do list – lose some weight.

i dreamt up a short film last night (or do they call the really short ones micro films?) somehow, i managed to bump into s somewhere on the streets of singapore. shock and horror. he was wearing a red-and-white combi (our national colors). greater shock and horror. i took much pains to pretend that i hadn’t seen him, but our eyes finally met. this is the most poignant part of the dream – he wore a pained and hurt expression on his face, like a dog that couldn’t believe its owner would butcher and eat it, and said to me, ‘why didn’t you contact me?’ i think my brain froze then (even in my dreams!). i cannot remember what i said in response then, but it must have been something to the effect of ‘i didn’t contact you???’ (with italic-emphasis on just about every word) my alarm went off then and i had to leave that potentially interesting conversation there. what a dream… what surreal subconscious thoughts… what a disturbed mind and heart… i do think i have issues i need to clear up.

time to sleep.