…and we are into march
march, to me, seems to be a marker that we have left “the beginning of the year,” and are well and truly “into the year.” it is the harbinger of spring and things to come; a time of closure and new beginnings. we are no more anticipating events, but are living them.
it has been a rainy sort of week, in the style of those hearty tropical thunderstorms that i miss when i am in japan. with lightning and thunder, and the kind of rain that really douses you, that no umbrella can protect you from. of course, i only love watching and listening from the safe cocoon of my room, sitting in bed with a book and a cup of hot tea. other than the rains brought on by typhoons, much of the rain in japan is fine and needle-like, stinging you as it hits your skin. you don’t quite get that it is raining, but still, end up wet and miserable. it is a little like the japanese people – subtle, yet eventually, making their presence felt.
i am starting to feel a little winded and daunted by all the tasks i have to complete before i leave. a month! and i never even got around to doing all those things i wanted to do – roaming around the island at will, eating a lot of local food, taking buses or walking, going to the beach, and admiring the blue, blue sky. i suppose i could find time if i tried to be a little more efficient, but being almost-30 is not the same as being 20. my body refuses to pick up its tempo, and there is only so much sleep i can sacrifice. at the end of the day, i suppose it would be enough to take each day a little more slowly… walk outside a little more (even when the sun blazeth or the rain falleth)… singapore really is an interesting little place given half a chance, and i preclude all those malls springing up like mushrooms everywhere; i don’t think i ever gave it enough credit. in fact, i don’t think many singaporeans do.
i haven’t mentioned s for the longest time on this blog. i suppose i have stopped moping about him as extensively as i used to, and all that bitter heartache has eased somewhat. there is still a twinge of something when i hear certain songs, see certain pictures, remember certain things… when i let my mind wander to the what-was and what-if. i am, in truth, a little unwilling to let it go. the pain has been such a constant companion it feels almost like a friend. it feels almost as if it would be a betrayal (not so much to him, but to my dogged passion) to fall in love again… so for now, i think i shall hang on to the remnants of my little love story and wallow in the tragic past. just for a while more.
and when spring arrives for real, who knows what it may bring?
Filed under: japan, random, reflections, singapore | Leave a Comment
Tags: love, march, rain, random reflections, weather
No Responses Yet to “…and we are into march”